Penn State University faces a national scandal! In 2002, an assistant football coach witnessed a sexual assault of a child, told administrators and no one reported it to police. Seven more assaults have now been reported.
Americans have heard horror stories about sexual assaults by priests, sex traffickers and the growing porn industry. The tragic truth is, children are sexually assaulted at home and in their neighborhoods every day. These children grow up and become parents. Often, the cycle of abuse continues. Americans are paying a high price for their silence.
When children feel powerless, violated and/or unloved, they act out in self-destructive ways. They may turn to drugs, sex, food, cutting, bullying, become an easy victim or join a gang to feel powerful! Around 80 percent of prison inmates were abused as children.
SPEAK UP TO PROTECT CHILDREN!
During the past year, 3 out of 5 children were exposed to violence at home or in their neighborhoods. It is up to citizens to stop this epidemic. If YOU don’t speak up, you are guilty of allowing abuse to continue.
10 things you can do to help stop child abuse.
1. Watch toddlers at play. A child tries to dominate by shoving playmates and crying for a toy. This is normal, childish behavior. Adults must correct children so they mature properly and learn to respect others. Don’t ignore aggressive behavior! Little bullies can become abusers.
2. STAY ALERT! Don’t let anyone hit, slap or verbally abuse a child. Children need protection, attention and encouragement. Adults are role models. Discipline children by taking way privileges but don’t back down or you will teach a child how to manipulate YOU.
3. Peace starts at home! Make a family rule… we treat each other with respect. Bully/victim behavior is learned at home. (25 percent of women and 10 percent of men are in abusive relationship) Verbal, sexual or physical abuse teaches children to be victims and/or bullies.
4. Don’t be your child’s best friend! Undisciplined children become angry when they don’t have the skills to develop positive friends. They may bully or become targets of abuse because they don’t know what else to do. This could lead them toward self-destructive behaviors.
5. Discuss family problems together and allow everyone to have a voice. Children mature and grow strong when they are heard and help solve conflicts, peacefully.
6. Discipline, rules, love, attention and support give children self-confidence. If bullied, they know they are NOT the problem. Self-worth gives children the inner power to stand up to bullies, walk away and report bad behavior.
7. Self-discipline keeps children safe. For example: If I pick a fight with you and you fight back, I am in control. If I pick a fight with you and you walk away, you are in control. Children can develop courage and character by speaking up and standing up to bullies.
8. Does your school have an “anti-bully” policy? Do neighbors work together to stop bullies on the block? Don’t ignore bullies! They can form gangs and make your neighborhood less safe. Don’t tolerate any destructive behavior.
9. BE AN ADVOCATE and get involved! CNN Special, “Bullying: It stops here!” stated, “Social Combat: the new norm for youth.” We must all speak up and work with neighbors to stop bad behavior.
10. Start a movement to help create a safer environment in your school or in your neighborhood. Ask friends to join you. If you want to know what to do and how to do it, check out safekidsnow.com
Speak up to protect children and our future.
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Author, 4 national prevention books.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
14 WAYS TO AVOID VIOLENCE!
DISCUSS WITH CHILDREN...
1. Keep your hands to yourself. Settle disagreements with words, not fists or weapons. (Parents…model non-violent behavior at home.)
2. If a bully provokes you, stay strong. Remember: If you react, he is in control. If you stay cool and calm, you are in control. Walk away!
3. If disputes escalate, seek help! Don’t form an audience. Encourage others to stop tolerating bad behavior.
4. Be alert! Find safe routes for walking to and from school, avoid hot spots (bully or drug house, group hang outs).
5. Know all your neighbors. (Parents: Ask trusted neighbors to be a safe house, if you are away and your child needs help.)
6. Trust your instincts! If they feel threatened or sense danger, get away fast. Run to a group of people, a lighted area or in a store for help.
7. Report any threats, destruction of property or suspicious activities to an adult, police officer or a school authority.
8. NEVER go with someone you don’t know and trust, even if he/she sounds like a nice person. If forced, fight back and run.
9. Don’t use alcohol or drugs. They reduce your self-awareness and make you an easy target for sexual assault and abuse.
10. If someone tries to be mean to you speak up with confidence and walk away. Report if the bad behavior persists. (Parent: Role-play with children what you want them to do.)
11. Hang out with friends who show support for each other. Avoid “friends” who bully, criticize, use put downs and make you feel bad.
12. Get involved in school and community activities (yearbook, chorus, plays, arts, church) to strengthen your network of supportive friend. (Parents: Children need a variety of friends to see and evaluate healthy relationships.)
13. Be a role model for others to follow. Volunteer at school or in the community. Learn to be a leader and encourage friends to join you.
14. Create a network of positive friends, family, neighbors and a religious family to help strengthen your character and ability to get along. A strong conscience (self-awareness) will keep you safe from harm.
For more information and resources: www.safekidsnow.com
1. Keep your hands to yourself. Settle disagreements with words, not fists or weapons. (Parents…model non-violent behavior at home.)
2. If a bully provokes you, stay strong. Remember: If you react, he is in control. If you stay cool and calm, you are in control. Walk away!
3. If disputes escalate, seek help! Don’t form an audience. Encourage others to stop tolerating bad behavior.
4. Be alert! Find safe routes for walking to and from school, avoid hot spots (bully or drug house, group hang outs).
5. Know all your neighbors. (Parents: Ask trusted neighbors to be a safe house, if you are away and your child needs help.)
6. Trust your instincts! If they feel threatened or sense danger, get away fast. Run to a group of people, a lighted area or in a store for help.
7. Report any threats, destruction of property or suspicious activities to an adult, police officer or a school authority.
8. NEVER go with someone you don’t know and trust, even if he/she sounds like a nice person. If forced, fight back and run.
9. Don’t use alcohol or drugs. They reduce your self-awareness and make you an easy target for sexual assault and abuse.
10. If someone tries to be mean to you speak up with confidence and walk away. Report if the bad behavior persists. (Parent: Role-play with children what you want them to do.)
11. Hang out with friends who show support for each other. Avoid “friends” who bully, criticize, use put downs and make you feel bad.
12. Get involved in school and community activities (yearbook, chorus, plays, arts, church) to strengthen your network of supportive friend. (Parents: Children need a variety of friends to see and evaluate healthy relationships.)
13. Be a role model for others to follow. Volunteer at school or in the community. Learn to be a leader and encourage friends to join you.
14. Create a network of positive friends, family, neighbors and a religious family to help strengthen your character and ability to get along. A strong conscience (self-awareness) will keep you safe from harm.
For more information and resources: www.safekidsnow.com
Monday, September 26, 2011
Root Cause for Violent Behavior!
Hardly a day passes without youth violence making news. From bullying at school to gang activity in the streets, the problem is pervasive. Most recently, rival teenage gangs traded deadly gunfire in the streets of Macon, Georgia, and the mayor there has vowed to find solutions. Macon is not unique.
We believe the best time to counter violent behavior among the young is before it starts. If we expose children from birth onward to positive, nurturing, nonviolent treatment, and to exemplary adult role models, we can safely predict that they won’t evolve into bullies or gang members. The consensus of child development science concurs with our position in this regard. Merely funneling young lawbreakers into the juvenile system doesn’t get at the root of the problem.
Please carefully consider the following recommendations:
• Add parenting education to the standard high school curriculum with a passing grade as a prerequisite for graduation.
• Make parenting education mandatory for parents who are aid recipients.
• Promote legal reforms that will extend to children the same protections against assault and battery that apply to adults.
Share copies of our publication, "Plain Talk about Spanking" with child-related and healthcare-related organizations and agencies, including schools, hospitals, pediatric clinics, libraries, etc. It can be accessed online at www.nospank.net/ and we furnish FREE download or hard copies upon request.
The benefits that will result from our joint efforts to reform harmful child-rearing customs and habits, and replace them with positive alternatives, will become apparent in due course. As Nelson Mandela observed, "There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children."
Video with Jordan Riak, "Plain Talk about Spanking!" at: http://www.youtube.com/user/NeighWatchPioneer
Jordan Riak, Exec. Dir., Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education (PTAVE); P.O. Box 1033, Alamo, CA 94507; Tel: 925-831-1661; On the Web at www.nospank.net
We believe the best time to counter violent behavior among the young is before it starts. If we expose children from birth onward to positive, nurturing, nonviolent treatment, and to exemplary adult role models, we can safely predict that they won’t evolve into bullies or gang members. The consensus of child development science concurs with our position in this regard. Merely funneling young lawbreakers into the juvenile system doesn’t get at the root of the problem.
Please carefully consider the following recommendations:
• Add parenting education to the standard high school curriculum with a passing grade as a prerequisite for graduation.
• Make parenting education mandatory for parents who are aid recipients.
• Promote legal reforms that will extend to children the same protections against assault and battery that apply to adults.
Share copies of our publication, "Plain Talk about Spanking" with child-related and healthcare-related organizations and agencies, including schools, hospitals, pediatric clinics, libraries, etc. It can be accessed online at www.nospank.net/ and we furnish FREE download or hard copies upon request.
The benefits that will result from our joint efforts to reform harmful child-rearing customs and habits, and replace them with positive alternatives, will become apparent in due course. As Nelson Mandela observed, "There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children."
Video with Jordan Riak, "Plain Talk about Spanking!" at: http://www.youtube.com/user/NeighWatchPioneer
Jordan Riak, Exec. Dir., Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education (PTAVE); P.O. Box 1033, Alamo, CA 94507; Tel: 925-831-1661; On the Web at www.nospank.net
Monday, September 19, 2011
PLAN AHEAD...for a disaster! (flood, earthquake, hurricane, tornado, fire, etc.)
1. PLAN AHEAD! Know neighbors, their useful skills and equipment. Everyone can help!
2. Work with a neighbor to map your neighborhood. Draw your street (on a poster) with house numbers and list residents, children, elderly and disabled.
3. Use symbols, add location of gas meters and propane tanks to your map. (65% of house fires a caused by gas leaks.) Learn how and when to turn off meters. (Call local provider)
4. Know how to turn off water to the house.
5. Stock up on dry food, canned goods and water to last 5 days.
6. Discuss with family your disaster plan, safety info, location of supplies, meeting place and outside area contact in case local communication fails.
7. Store under your bed, sturdy shoes, gloves, flashlight, battery operated radio, first aid kit, a HELP/OK sign and a to do check list.
8. Create a team of neighbors to check on elderly, disabled and children. Check gas meters, propane tanks and shut off gas, if necessary. Check on homes to offer help.
9. Be prepared to give first aid. (Classes available in your area?) Contact your council member or area rep to find out what your community is doing to prepare for a disaster and get involved. Your community needs YOU.
2. Work with a neighbor to map your neighborhood. Draw your street (on a poster) with house numbers and list residents, children, elderly and disabled.
3. Use symbols, add location of gas meters and propane tanks to your map. (65% of house fires a caused by gas leaks.) Learn how and when to turn off meters. (Call local provider)
4. Know how to turn off water to the house.
5. Stock up on dry food, canned goods and water to last 5 days.
6. Discuss with family your disaster plan, safety info, location of supplies, meeting place and outside area contact in case local communication fails.
7. Store under your bed, sturdy shoes, gloves, flashlight, battery operated radio, first aid kit, a HELP/OK sign and a to do check list.
8. Create a team of neighbors to check on elderly, disabled and children. Check gas meters, propane tanks and shut off gas, if necessary. Check on homes to offer help.
9. Be prepared to give first aid. (Classes available in your area?) Contact your council member or area rep to find out what your community is doing to prepare for a disaster and get involved. Your community needs YOU.
Monday, August 29, 2011
10 Ways For A Parent To Say I Love You Without Words
• When your child communicates with you, stop what you’re doing and really listen to what they have to say. When your child knows and feels you care about what they are saying, they will feel good about themselves.
• Spend quality time each day with your child. When a child has the undivided attention of their parent, they feel important and cared for.
• Tune into your child’s needs. Respond to what your child may need before they ask; this shows your child you really are paying attention to them.
• Show your child affection without being asked. When you offer a hug to your child without being prompted, they will truly feel your love for them.
• When your child wants to show you something or needs something in that moment, stop what you’re doing and follow their lead. Sometimes they just want to know they are more important than your work.
• Enjoy meals together several times a week. With most people’s hectic schedules, there isn’t always time to hear the details of a child’s day immediately after work. Sharing a meal together allows children the space to talk about what went on in their day after they’ve had some down time and you have too.
• If your child comes home from school or an outing and immediately starts to talk about a sensitive topic, stop and listen to what they’re saying; it is most likely bothering them.
• Intently watch your child. Simply gazing at your child will send energetic vibrations of love their way and they will receive the warm feelings into their being.
• Make eye contact with your child. Sharing a deep gaze with your child sends messages of love through the eyes. The eyes are the gateway to one’s soul and a child knows this.
• Do things for your child. Consciously making their bed and washing their favorite shirt let’s them know you thought about them during your day; it also shows them how to do things for others as well.
Tara Paterson, ACPI Certified Coach for Parents™ of Intuitives
www.parentingintuitives.com
Co-Author of the award winning book- Raising Intuitive Children
Contact info: tara@justformom.com.
• Spend quality time each day with your child. When a child has the undivided attention of their parent, they feel important and cared for.
• Tune into your child’s needs. Respond to what your child may need before they ask; this shows your child you really are paying attention to them.
• Show your child affection without being asked. When you offer a hug to your child without being prompted, they will truly feel your love for them.
• When your child wants to show you something or needs something in that moment, stop what you’re doing and follow their lead. Sometimes they just want to know they are more important than your work.
• Enjoy meals together several times a week. With most people’s hectic schedules, there isn’t always time to hear the details of a child’s day immediately after work. Sharing a meal together allows children the space to talk about what went on in their day after they’ve had some down time and you have too.
• If your child comes home from school or an outing and immediately starts to talk about a sensitive topic, stop and listen to what they’re saying; it is most likely bothering them.
• Intently watch your child. Simply gazing at your child will send energetic vibrations of love their way and they will receive the warm feelings into their being.
• Make eye contact with your child. Sharing a deep gaze with your child sends messages of love through the eyes. The eyes are the gateway to one’s soul and a child knows this.
• Do things for your child. Consciously making their bed and washing their favorite shirt let’s them know you thought about them during your day; it also shows them how to do things for others as well.
Tara Paterson, ACPI Certified Coach for Parents™ of Intuitives
www.parentingintuitives.com
Co-Author of the award winning book- Raising Intuitive Children
Contact info: tara@justformom.com.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Keep Your Child Safe!
PARENTS: Discuss with children how to stay safe. Let children know they can tell you anything and you will listen.
1. Dial 911 in an emergency only. (Show and tell)
2. Never give your name or address to someone you don't know.
3. Never open the door to anyone you do not know.
4. Never tell callers you are home alone.
5. Never cross the street without looking both ways. (Stay in crosswalk)
6. Never accept a ride from someone you don't know.
7. Never play with matches.
8. Never walk alone, always use the buddy system.
9. If you feel scared by someone you don't know, run away and yell for help.
10. Get permission before you ride in a car with anyone.
11. Play in your backyard or near adults.
12. Create a family password in case a stranger needs to pick up your child.
13. If you are lost, look for a police officer, woman with children or a store clerk for help.
14. If someone asks you for help (directions, find a pet), run away and tell a trusted adult.
15. If someone tries to bully you, speak up and tell a trusted adult.
16. If someone tries to grab you, fight back, kick and scream for help.
17. If anything upsets you, tell me immediately and we will work it out together.
PARENTS: For extra protection...create a network of support around children and know all your neighbors!
For more information go to: www.safekidsnow.com
1. Dial 911 in an emergency only. (Show and tell)
2. Never give your name or address to someone you don't know.
3. Never open the door to anyone you do not know.
4. Never tell callers you are home alone.
5. Never cross the street without looking both ways. (Stay in crosswalk)
6. Never accept a ride from someone you don't know.
7. Never play with matches.
8. Never walk alone, always use the buddy system.
9. If you feel scared by someone you don't know, run away and yell for help.
10. Get permission before you ride in a car with anyone.
11. Play in your backyard or near adults.
12. Create a family password in case a stranger needs to pick up your child.
13. If you are lost, look for a police officer, woman with children or a store clerk for help.
14. If someone asks you for help (directions, find a pet), run away and tell a trusted adult.
15. If someone tries to bully you, speak up and tell a trusted adult.
16. If someone tries to grab you, fight back, kick and scream for help.
17. If anything upsets you, tell me immediately and we will work it out together.
PARENTS: For extra protection...create a network of support around children and know all your neighbors!
For more information go to: www.safekidsnow.com
Sunday, July 17, 2011
12 Ways POLICE INCREASED crime!
Do you remember when neighbors knew every child on the block and they called parents if they misbehaved? At that time, neighbors knew how important it was to correct children before destructive behavior got out of control.
Over the years, Americans lost a critical balance between police and citizen responsibility for keeping neighborhoods safe. As citizens backed off, police increased visibility, involvement and technology to control behavior with limited success. Here are 12 ways police increased crime.
1. Police presented unrealistic expectations. National average approx 2.5 officers per 1000 residents. Police cannot keep your neighborhood safe.
2. Police became crime prevention “experts.” Citizens became passive “watchers.” Police and citizens lost a healthy balance of cooperation.
3. Police created dependency by assuming too much responsibility for minor problems including barking dogs, loud music, young vandals and bullies.
4. Police, in some areas, instill fear with local crime statistics. Citizens bought security systems or arm themselves fearing their neighbors.
5. Police increased anger. They received grants and staff support to “fix” neighborhoods. Neighbors backed off. When the money ran out, problems increased.
6. Police assume too much responsibility. Citizens blamed them for not doing their job. Result in some areas…hostility toward police, less cooperation and reporting.
7. Police increased neighborhood isolation. They held meetings and provided home security info. Neighbors arrived as strangers and left as strangers.
8. Police received community-policing grants. Citizens depend on police who didn’t live in the area. Policy shifts, officer leaves and crime, goes up.
9. Police, not parents or adults in the neighborhoods, became the symbol of authority and correction for youth.
10. Police assumed responsibility without understanding the benefits of neighbors solving problems and becoming role models for youth.
11. Police don’t say... it’s your responsibility to keep your neighborhood safe. Police react to crime, citizens prevent crime.
12. Police have many limitations. Residents must take back neighborhood safety if they want to keep children safe.
Americans can restore a healthy balance between police and citizen’s responsibility in the neighborhood. However, neighbors must be involved to help control criminal behavior and correct youth BEFORE they get involved in gangs, drug abuse and violence. Safe neighborhoods require mutual respect and cooperation.
For more information on what you can do to make your community safe, contact: www.safekidsnow.com
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. -Albert Einstein
Over the years, Americans lost a critical balance between police and citizen responsibility for keeping neighborhoods safe. As citizens backed off, police increased visibility, involvement and technology to control behavior with limited success. Here are 12 ways police increased crime.
1. Police presented unrealistic expectations. National average approx 2.5 officers per 1000 residents. Police cannot keep your neighborhood safe.
2. Police became crime prevention “experts.” Citizens became passive “watchers.” Police and citizens lost a healthy balance of cooperation.
3. Police created dependency by assuming too much responsibility for minor problems including barking dogs, loud music, young vandals and bullies.
4. Police, in some areas, instill fear with local crime statistics. Citizens bought security systems or arm themselves fearing their neighbors.
5. Police increased anger. They received grants and staff support to “fix” neighborhoods. Neighbors backed off. When the money ran out, problems increased.
6. Police assume too much responsibility. Citizens blamed them for not doing their job. Result in some areas…hostility toward police, less cooperation and reporting.
7. Police increased neighborhood isolation. They held meetings and provided home security info. Neighbors arrived as strangers and left as strangers.
8. Police received community-policing grants. Citizens depend on police who didn’t live in the area. Policy shifts, officer leaves and crime, goes up.
9. Police, not parents or adults in the neighborhoods, became the symbol of authority and correction for youth.
10. Police assumed responsibility without understanding the benefits of neighbors solving problems and becoming role models for youth.
11. Police don’t say... it’s your responsibility to keep your neighborhood safe. Police react to crime, citizens prevent crime.
12. Police have many limitations. Residents must take back neighborhood safety if they want to keep children safe.
Americans can restore a healthy balance between police and citizen’s responsibility in the neighborhood. However, neighbors must be involved to help control criminal behavior and correct youth BEFORE they get involved in gangs, drug abuse and violence. Safe neighborhoods require mutual respect and cooperation.
For more information on what you can do to make your community safe, contact: www.safekidsnow.com
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it. -Albert Einstein
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