Charlie Sheen is the poster boy for angry, out of control men. His wives accuse him of abuse but CBS raised his salary to $2 million per episode for his TV Show.
On the national news, we have seen athletes and Hollywood “stars” involved in violent behavior with little or no consequences. Michael Jackson told his tragic story of child abuse but his family failed to address the issue.
As a crime and violence prevention consultant for 35 years, I have seen many adults intimidated by ego driven bullies, abusive men, gang leaders, controlling drug dealers and demanding community leaders.
Fear creates social isolation and saps community spirit! Bullies are holding families and neighborhoods hostage. Citizens must work together and stop tolerating destructive behavior. Family members must speak up and stop protecting abusive men. Each one of us must speak up to stop bully behavior and protect victims!
Our children are learning from us! Bully behavior has increased in schools and neighborhoods. The message has become…“The biggest bully wins!” Is this the message you want for your children?
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Safe Kids Now!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Halloween Safety Tips
Trick-or-Treating can be Safe and Fun.
HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIPS
Keep these in mind when you’re sending your goblin out trick-or-treating.
• Wear a costume that makes it easier for you to walk, see and be seen. Light color costumes are best.
• Select costumes, masks, wigs, or beards made of flame retardant materials (check the labels).
• Avoid flimsy, lightweight fabrics and costumes with billowing skirts or loose baggy sleeves.
• To be seen easily, use retro-reflective tape on your costume.
• Use makeup instead of a mask.
• A mask may keep you from seeing well, so make sure to take it off before crossing the street.
• Plan your trick-or-treat route ahead of time. Pick well lighted streets and tell your family on which streets you will be trick-or-treating.
• Ask a parent, older brother or sister to trick-or-treat with you.
• If someone older cannot go with you, trick-or-treat with a group.
• It’s best to trick-or-treat when it is light outside.
• Carry a flashlight with you, so you can see and be seen easily.
• Cross only at corners. Never cross between parked cars or mid-block.
• If there are no sidewalks, always walk facing traffic.
• Wait until you get home to sort, check, and eat your treats.
Source: Safety info from AAA
HALLOWEEN SAFETY TIPS
Keep these in mind when you’re sending your goblin out trick-or-treating.
• Wear a costume that makes it easier for you to walk, see and be seen. Light color costumes are best.
• Select costumes, masks, wigs, or beards made of flame retardant materials (check the labels).
• Avoid flimsy, lightweight fabrics and costumes with billowing skirts or loose baggy sleeves.
• To be seen easily, use retro-reflective tape on your costume.
• Use makeup instead of a mask.
• A mask may keep you from seeing well, so make sure to take it off before crossing the street.
• Plan your trick-or-treat route ahead of time. Pick well lighted streets and tell your family on which streets you will be trick-or-treating.
• Ask a parent, older brother or sister to trick-or-treat with you.
• If someone older cannot go with you, trick-or-treat with a group.
• It’s best to trick-or-treat when it is light outside.
• Carry a flashlight with you, so you can see and be seen easily.
• Cross only at corners. Never cross between parked cars or mid-block.
• If there are no sidewalks, always walk facing traffic.
• Wait until you get home to sort, check, and eat your treats.
Source: Safety info from AAA
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Walkable Neighborhoods Fight Obesity – And Crime
Childhood obesity has reached epidemic proportions and health care costs to address this issue have now reached $14 billion a year.
But ordinary citizens have discovered an unexpected solution to this national problem: walkable neighborhoods.
By forming walking clubs, Americans are not only losing weight, they are also fighting crime and creating safer communities.
In Bakersfield, California, two mothers started a walking group, initially to improve their families’ health – and they ended up building a better neighborhood for everyone. When they first started out, however, the group ran into roadblocks: aggressive dogs, broken bottles, and broken lights as well as drug and gang activity. So the mothers, Gena Perez and Leticia Encima, stepped out of their comfort zones and contacted the police, parks and animal control departments to start tackling those problems, according to a report on the group published in Children’s Advocate (March-April 2008).
While they had to be persistent, the group kept working together until the broken lights got fixed, dogs were restricted, police patrols increased, and park maintenance improved. Now, more than 60 members participate in the Greenfield Walking Group which started from the efforts of two determined mothers. Besides learning better nutrition and exercise habits, group members also got to know their neighbors and developed a network of support.
Those moms demonstrated how important it is for parents to become actively involved in their communities – and their children’s lives. Children need involved adults to role model a healthy life style to help them make healthy choices. The path to healthier lives starts at home and support can be found in the neighborhood.
.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Some children lack self-confidence and use food to feel better. Overeating and avoiding exercise, can become self-destructive habits. Obesity can lead to Type 2 diabetes and an increase in asthma and heart problems. Education can help, but it will not solve the problem entirely. It is up to parents to get active with their children – and to build a circle of support around them.
When we start walking together, we encourage each other. We begin to feel better and sleep better. Life becomes more enjoyable as we develop healthy relationships. Walking is a fun way to learn about your neighborhood, so…
1. Invite one or two of your friends to join you
2. Ask more neighbors to take part and form a regular walking group
3. Plan your schedule and walk together several times a week
4. Map your neighborhood – Check out safe destinations, crosswalks, and traffic; and avoid hot spots
5. Evaluate neighborhood safety, stay alert and stay together
6. Compare notes on nutrition and share healthy recipes
7. Include children after school and on weekends
START TODAY! Be the example you want to see in your child’s life. Progress happens when we take one step at a time.
If you think good nutrition and exercise are important, so will your children. They will learn that exercise can be fun as they make connections with other adults. You and your neighbors will become a visible presence, which will help deter crime while also helping the neighborhood network of support for families grow stronger.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Family and Neighborhood Safety Consultant
For more information: www.safekidsnow.com
But ordinary citizens have discovered an unexpected solution to this national problem: walkable neighborhoods.
By forming walking clubs, Americans are not only losing weight, they are also fighting crime and creating safer communities.
In Bakersfield, California, two mothers started a walking group, initially to improve their families’ health – and they ended up building a better neighborhood for everyone. When they first started out, however, the group ran into roadblocks: aggressive dogs, broken bottles, and broken lights as well as drug and gang activity. So the mothers, Gena Perez and Leticia Encima, stepped out of their comfort zones and contacted the police, parks and animal control departments to start tackling those problems, according to a report on the group published in Children’s Advocate (March-April 2008).
While they had to be persistent, the group kept working together until the broken lights got fixed, dogs were restricted, police patrols increased, and park maintenance improved. Now, more than 60 members participate in the Greenfield Walking Group which started from the efforts of two determined mothers. Besides learning better nutrition and exercise habits, group members also got to know their neighbors and developed a network of support.
Those moms demonstrated how important it is for parents to become actively involved in their communities – and their children’s lives. Children need involved adults to role model a healthy life style to help them make healthy choices. The path to healthier lives starts at home and support can be found in the neighborhood.
.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Some children lack self-confidence and use food to feel better. Overeating and avoiding exercise, can become self-destructive habits. Obesity can lead to Type 2 diabetes and an increase in asthma and heart problems. Education can help, but it will not solve the problem entirely. It is up to parents to get active with their children – and to build a circle of support around them.
When we start walking together, we encourage each other. We begin to feel better and sleep better. Life becomes more enjoyable as we develop healthy relationships. Walking is a fun way to learn about your neighborhood, so…
1. Invite one or two of your friends to join you
2. Ask more neighbors to take part and form a regular walking group
3. Plan your schedule and walk together several times a week
4. Map your neighborhood – Check out safe destinations, crosswalks, and traffic; and avoid hot spots
5. Evaluate neighborhood safety, stay alert and stay together
6. Compare notes on nutrition and share healthy recipes
7. Include children after school and on weekends
START TODAY! Be the example you want to see in your child’s life. Progress happens when we take one step at a time.
If you think good nutrition and exercise are important, so will your children. They will learn that exercise can be fun as they make connections with other adults. You and your neighbors will become a visible presence, which will help deter crime while also helping the neighborhood network of support for families grow stronger.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Family and Neighborhood Safety Consultant
For more information: www.safekidsnow.com
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
YOU Make a Difference: Positive or Negative?
Frequently we hear,” if I had power, position or money, I’d make a difference.” We placate ourselves with desires that seem to be out of reach. We imagine we are powerless to affect noteworthy change because the desires we feel would empower us, have not been met. We forget cause and effect is a law of physics, not a law of size and it is constant on every level, all the time, everywhere, with or without our desires being met.
We react or don’t react to circumstances. Our reactions or lack of them set into motion other reactions. Sometimes we fail to realize that what we do or don’t do makes a difference. We affect the lives of others even when we don’t realize it. Consider your smile or lack of it, your understanding or lack of it, befriending someone who needs you or turning away. Everything has an effect. Few of us analyze the effects we cause. Determining their positive or negative value and to whom, isn’t always considered.
Are we strengthening the self confidence of the people in our everyday lives, or are we weakening it? Are we building honesty and dependability in those who learn from us or are we undermining it? Are we helping others find their purpose and seek their dreams or are we siphoning off their energy to strengthen our own desires?
Each situation finds us either adding or subtracting quality in the immediate intellectual, emotional or physical environment. Emotional climate can be joyfully spontaneous and loving or rigidly fearful from the dominance of a hot or cold war whose brewing storm overtakes everything in its path.
Acceptance is respect. Acceptance can die a slow death from the continual bullets of criticize, or passive aggressive confusion.
Making a difference doesn’t start with power, position and money. It starts within you. It starts with desire to make life better, which is done through positive daily human contacts with family, friends, coworkers, and community. It is the people that make up the nation.
If you want to make a difference, be the difference you want to make. You have an effect as you walk through this life. Consciously or unconsciously, you leave your footprint. You can make life better by the path you chose or you can make it worse, but your being here leaves it’s mark. Your personal quality or lack of it will be reflected in the lives you have touched and you do touch them each and every day, with or without power, position and money.
Wittingly or unwittingly, you are making a difference. The question is, is the difference you are making the difference you really wanted to make?
Rebecca Kimbel DTM, MsCD and CEO
DTM: Distingished Toastmaster
MsCD: Dr. of Metaphisical Science, the great religions and philosophies of the world.
CEO, Corporate Executive Officer, Tio Inc.
We react or don’t react to circumstances. Our reactions or lack of them set into motion other reactions. Sometimes we fail to realize that what we do or don’t do makes a difference. We affect the lives of others even when we don’t realize it. Consider your smile or lack of it, your understanding or lack of it, befriending someone who needs you or turning away. Everything has an effect. Few of us analyze the effects we cause. Determining their positive or negative value and to whom, isn’t always considered.
Are we strengthening the self confidence of the people in our everyday lives, or are we weakening it? Are we building honesty and dependability in those who learn from us or are we undermining it? Are we helping others find their purpose and seek their dreams or are we siphoning off their energy to strengthen our own desires?
Each situation finds us either adding or subtracting quality in the immediate intellectual, emotional or physical environment. Emotional climate can be joyfully spontaneous and loving or rigidly fearful from the dominance of a hot or cold war whose brewing storm overtakes everything in its path.
Acceptance is respect. Acceptance can die a slow death from the continual bullets of criticize, or passive aggressive confusion.
Making a difference doesn’t start with power, position and money. It starts within you. It starts with desire to make life better, which is done through positive daily human contacts with family, friends, coworkers, and community. It is the people that make up the nation.
If you want to make a difference, be the difference you want to make. You have an effect as you walk through this life. Consciously or unconsciously, you leave your footprint. You can make life better by the path you chose or you can make it worse, but your being here leaves it’s mark. Your personal quality or lack of it will be reflected in the lives you have touched and you do touch them each and every day, with or without power, position and money.
Wittingly or unwittingly, you are making a difference. The question is, is the difference you are making the difference you really wanted to make?
Rebecca Kimbel DTM, MsCD and CEO
DTM: Distingished Toastmaster
MsCD: Dr. of Metaphisical Science, the great religions and philosophies of the world.
CEO, Corporate Executive Officer, Tio Inc.
Monday, September 13, 2010
WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR CHILD'S SCHOOL?
2 stories from Rich, a school teacher, in Grand Rapids, MI. Outrageous stories? Why aren't parents and teachers banding together and speaking up for kids?
1. As an educator for 10 years, I was appalled when I worked at a charter elementary school where the daily violence was totally ignored. Gangs, boy and girl, guns brought to school, fights, broken walkie-talkies so no way to get help in an emergency and an administrator who put his ego in front of his school's kids and staff members. He still has his job!
Seven kids from this school have gone to prison and how this school stays open, I have no idea.
2. A middle school teacher rented a motel room and gave students pills and alcohol. Everyone knew about this. They finally got him after he led police on a high speed chase, intoxicated. The same district, had a janitor steal athletic equipment from lockers and sell everything on Ebay. $40,000 just disappeared from the district and the new superintendent just blew it off.
A varsity volleyball coach / elementary teacher attacked a big donor to the high school in an e-mail. The donor pulled over $3,000 in annual scholarships out of the school. The teacher/coach, athletic director and new superintendent never bothered to apologize to the donor. The athletic director's husband was picked up and prosecuted on peeping from a bathroom stall at kids in a mall bathroom.
READ Rebecca's comment...She is right on! Click below...
1. As an educator for 10 years, I was appalled when I worked at a charter elementary school where the daily violence was totally ignored. Gangs, boy and girl, guns brought to school, fights, broken walkie-talkies so no way to get help in an emergency and an administrator who put his ego in front of his school's kids and staff members. He still has his job!
Seven kids from this school have gone to prison and how this school stays open, I have no idea.
2. A middle school teacher rented a motel room and gave students pills and alcohol. Everyone knew about this. They finally got him after he led police on a high speed chase, intoxicated. The same district, had a janitor steal athletic equipment from lockers and sell everything on Ebay. $40,000 just disappeared from the district and the new superintendent just blew it off.
A varsity volleyball coach / elementary teacher attacked a big donor to the high school in an e-mail. The donor pulled over $3,000 in annual scholarships out of the school. The teacher/coach, athletic director and new superintendent never bothered to apologize to the donor. The athletic director's husband was picked up and prosecuted on peeping from a bathroom stall at kids in a mall bathroom.
READ Rebecca's comment...She is right on! Click below...
Friday, September 10, 2010
San Bruno GAS EXPLOSION! Tragedy could have been prevented!
The gas explosion in the San Bruno CA neighborhood (4 dead, 52 people injured, 38 homes destroyed, 37 homes badly damaged) demonstrates the critical importance of neighbors connecting, sharing information, reporting what they see or smell.
1. How many people smelled gas before the explosion? (Neighbors stated, "I smelled gas for several weeks.")
2. How many neighbors smelled gas but didn't reported it?
3. Could involved neighbors have prevented the tragedy? (We don't know all the facts yet but YES is a good possibility.)
Neighbors are powerless as individuals. Together neighbors who discuss concerns and report as a group can protect each other! Aware and involved neighbors can also stop bullies, car thefts, burglaries, drug dealers, gangs and violence. In the process, neighbors reduce social isolation and fear as they become role models. Youth need to see neighbors as problem solvers and active participants in community life.
1. How many people smelled gas before the explosion? (Neighbors stated, "I smelled gas for several weeks.")
2. How many neighbors smelled gas but didn't reported it?
3. Could involved neighbors have prevented the tragedy? (We don't know all the facts yet but YES is a good possibility.)
Neighbors are powerless as individuals. Together neighbors who discuss concerns and report as a group can protect each other! Aware and involved neighbors can also stop bullies, car thefts, burglaries, drug dealers, gangs and violence. In the process, neighbors reduce social isolation and fear as they become role models. Youth need to see neighbors as problem solvers and active participants in community life.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
20 Reason Why Good Kids Make Bad Choices!
Every day in our communities good kids make bad choices. As a crime and violence prevention consultant, I have compiled a list of 20 reasons as to why this is so. I have found that these reasons generally fall under the two general categories of loss of family or loss of community.
LOSS OF FAMILY
1. 50% of marriages end in divorce - 1 in 4 women in abusive relationships - Children learn behavior from adults.
2. Adult bullies: Mental abuse with put downs, insults, belittling, cursing, screaming and controlling without listening or guiding.
3. Physical abuse: hitting, whipping, slapping, kicking or sexual abuse of a child.
4. Bio-parents have authority to discipline and guide children, stepparents, boy friends or girl friends do not.
5. Emotional women (crying, pleading, begging) lose their authority with teens, especially boys.
6. Adults, who don’t listen, send a message… ”I don’t care.” Children become frustrated, lack self-confidence and may become socially isolated.
7. Neglect and abuse creates anger. Anger prevents emotional growth and a lack of self-awareness, which puts youth at risk.
8. Parents who can’t say NO, will experience resentment, anger and disrespect. They are teaching their child to be self-absorbed!
9. The neglect of a child's spirit: If adults fail to teach children about their awesome inner power and potential, they may not value themselves or others.
10. Bullies are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: This child uses intimidation and fear to gain power and control over others...and to hide their pain.
11. Pincushion kids (victims) are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: Shy, sensitive children may feel inadequate, suffer in silence and become easy targets. Bullies and victims are often attracted to each other.
12. Bullies and “Pincushion" kids (sensitive) lack healthy role models. Strong “centered” adults create a network of support, listen and stay calm when disciplining and guiding children.
13. Children lacking spiritual values and support do not discover a healthy balance between ego and spirit. Peers can become their teachers as they experiment with drugs, alcohol, sex or other self-destructive behaviors.
14. Youth, unable to cope or “fit in,” can become disconnected from family, friends and feel alone. They are likely candidates to dropout of school, join gangs or become addicted to drugs. Some may even runaway and become homeless.
LOSS OF COMMUNITY
15. The loss of neighborhood support creates more social isolation for families. Youth do not see neighbors as role models, mentors or problem solvers working together to keep their neighborhood safe for everyone.
16. Gangs, drugs and violence become a life style for alienated youth. Gangs use fear to control neighborhoods as they become role models for children. Rival gangs kill for power. (Primitive ego-driven tribal behavior) Note: Terrorist use the same tactics to gain power and control over others.
17. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce the bully/victim behavior for disconnected youth. Sex and violence used to degrade and control women.
18. Easy access to drugs (escape from reality) and guns (power tool for youth disconnected from community).
19. The religious community has lost influence with many of today’s families due to scandals, corruption and the sexual abuse of children.
20. Religion, the foundation of a free society, has neglected to reach out and “Love thy Neighbor.” Working together…the religious community has the power to bring neighbors together, become role models for youth and create peaceful communities.
Every bully, delinquent, truant, abuse victim, drug dealer, gang member, and child struggling to grow up with drugs and/or domestic violence lives in somebody’s neighborhood.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Family and Neighborhoods Safety Consultant
Join “Safe Kids Now Mailing List" and learn what YOU can do to keep children safe. www.safekidsnow.com
LOSS OF FAMILY
1. 50% of marriages end in divorce - 1 in 4 women in abusive relationships - Children learn behavior from adults.
2. Adult bullies: Mental abuse with put downs, insults, belittling, cursing, screaming and controlling without listening or guiding.
3. Physical abuse: hitting, whipping, slapping, kicking or sexual abuse of a child.
4. Bio-parents have authority to discipline and guide children, stepparents, boy friends or girl friends do not.
5. Emotional women (crying, pleading, begging) lose their authority with teens, especially boys.
6. Adults, who don’t listen, send a message… ”I don’t care.” Children become frustrated, lack self-confidence and may become socially isolated.
7. Neglect and abuse creates anger. Anger prevents emotional growth and a lack of self-awareness, which puts youth at risk.
8. Parents who can’t say NO, will experience resentment, anger and disrespect. They are teaching their child to be self-absorbed!
9. The neglect of a child's spirit: If adults fail to teach children about their awesome inner power and potential, they may not value themselves or others.
10. Bullies are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: This child uses intimidation and fear to gain power and control over others...and to hide their pain.
11. Pincushion kids (victims) are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: Shy, sensitive children may feel inadequate, suffer in silence and become easy targets. Bullies and victims are often attracted to each other.
12. Bullies and “Pincushion" kids (sensitive) lack healthy role models. Strong “centered” adults create a network of support, listen and stay calm when disciplining and guiding children.
13. Children lacking spiritual values and support do not discover a healthy balance between ego and spirit. Peers can become their teachers as they experiment with drugs, alcohol, sex or other self-destructive behaviors.
14. Youth, unable to cope or “fit in,” can become disconnected from family, friends and feel alone. They are likely candidates to dropout of school, join gangs or become addicted to drugs. Some may even runaway and become homeless.
LOSS OF COMMUNITY
15. The loss of neighborhood support creates more social isolation for families. Youth do not see neighbors as role models, mentors or problem solvers working together to keep their neighborhood safe for everyone.
16. Gangs, drugs and violence become a life style for alienated youth. Gangs use fear to control neighborhoods as they become role models for children. Rival gangs kill for power. (Primitive ego-driven tribal behavior) Note: Terrorist use the same tactics to gain power and control over others.
17. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce the bully/victim behavior for disconnected youth. Sex and violence used to degrade and control women.
18. Easy access to drugs (escape from reality) and guns (power tool for youth disconnected from community).
19. The religious community has lost influence with many of today’s families due to scandals, corruption and the sexual abuse of children.
20. Religion, the foundation of a free society, has neglected to reach out and “Love thy Neighbor.” Working together…the religious community has the power to bring neighbors together, become role models for youth and create peaceful communities.
Every bully, delinquent, truant, abuse victim, drug dealer, gang member, and child struggling to grow up with drugs and/or domestic violence lives in somebody’s neighborhood.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Family and Neighborhoods Safety Consultant
Join “Safe Kids Now Mailing List" and learn what YOU can do to keep children safe. www.safekidsnow.com
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