1. Fear and easily intimidated neighbors who don’t trust each other.
2. Lack of communication between neighbors. (Problems escalate)
3. Assuming someone else will speak up and stop juvenile bad behavior.
4. Ignoring criminal behavior and hoping it will go away.
5. Observing suspicious strangers or activities but failure to report criminal behavior.
YOU have the power to change your neighborhood. Even if your neighborhood seems safe, don't be fooled. Get neighbors together to share information.
Find out what you can do. Go to "Safe Kids Now" and contact us!
Children deserve a safe place to grow up so they can reach their potential!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
THE PERFECT STORM FOR GUN VIOLENCE
Here are 14 reasons why America has become the most violent industrialized nation in the world.
- 51% of marriages fail
- 25% of women in abusive relationships
- Children ignored or abused at home
- Gangs offer protection and support
- Drugs offer escape and money
- Neighbors are strangers
- Cities cutting budgets
- Teachers are overwhelmed
- Police try to control criminal behavior
- Religious leaders ignore local community problems
- Adults blame others for their failings
- Parents don’t take responsibility for their child’s behavior
- Families overindulge or over protect children
- Easy access to guns
Community support and involvement strengthens families. It takes a village….
Every day more than 80 Americans die from gun violence. (Source: Coalition to Stop Gun Violence)
Stephanie Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
- 51% of marriages fail
- 25% of women in abusive relationships
- Children ignored or abused at home
- Gangs offer protection and support
- Drugs offer escape and money
- Neighbors are strangers
- Cities cutting budgets
- Teachers are overwhelmed
- Police try to control criminal behavior
- Religious leaders ignore local community problems
- Adults blame others for their failings
- Parents don’t take responsibility for their child’s behavior
- Families overindulge or over protect children
- Easy access to guns
Community support and involvement strengthens families. It takes a village….
Every day more than 80 Americans die from gun violence. (Source: Coalition to Stop Gun Violence)
Stephanie Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Friday, January 28, 2011
HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE!
For decades, politicians have tried to break the cycle of violence by hiring more police and implementing new laws. Those strategies and other penalties have limitations because they do little to prevent the next generation from following the same destructive path.
City officials seem stumped on how to stop violence. In San Francisco, violence claimed 98 lives in 2008. Mayor Gavin Newsome said: “Nothing that I have tried to resolve has been more frustrating and vexing than solving the issue of why a 14-year-old would take the life of a 15-year-old with a weapon of war.”
The U.C. Berkeley School of Law researchers recently reported gangs terrorizing the same neighborhoods over and over again.
As a crime and violence prevention consultant, I know that gang leaders and drug dealers intimidate neighbors and instill fear against the police so they can control neighborhoods and continue, “business as usual.”
Police often focus on “hot spot” neighborhoods. However, after a sweep to eliminate criminals, neighbors need immediate follow up with “hands on” help to get organized. Without support, new criminals fill the void.
So how can the cycle of violence be broken?
BE A COMMUNITY ACTIVIST
Community activists can play an important role to end the social isolation that fuels crime, drug abuse and violence.
Activists can promote the simple act of neighbors working together which reduces fear and restores hope. Community activists can identify neighborhood leaders and enlist businesses, civic and church groups to support neighbors. They can assist neighbors in running meetings, planning an agenda and motivate neighbors to help strengthen family support.
When people feel connected and develop confidence, they stop the “no snitch” attitude and stop tolerating burglars, rapists, gangs, predators and drug dealers.
KEEP FAMILIES SAFE!
Ideas to keep neighborhood groups going and growing:
1. Neighbors need good communication to stay connected with regular meetings, phone trees, emails and, possibly, a newsletter.
2. Community leaders (neighbors, churches, civic groups) can help plan social gatherings, block parties, establish block parent programs, map neighborhoods for safety, create community gardens, plan youth safety day, implement emergency preparedness and help other neighbors form “Neighborhood Watch” groups.
3. Local officials can promote citizen involvement and reward neighbors for creating safer neighborhoods with trees, benches, swings, improved lighting, etc.
4. Neighborhood and civic groups can sponsor youth poster or essay contests.
5. Business groups or agencies can promote healthy competition between neighborhood groups. They might promote jump rope, basketball, skateboard, singing and dancing contests.
6. Local officials can honor and recognize neighborhood leaders!
Together neighbors provide a check and balance and reduce the social isolation that tolerates bullies, domestic violence and destructive youth behavior. When neighbors work together, they become role models, mentors, speak up and help solve problems.
Citizen involvement creates healthy, safe neighborhoods for families – and helps to reverse the cycle of violence.
~
WHAT YOU CAN DO
- Talk to your local representative and your police chief.
- Offer assistance to help your community.
- Make presentations to local civic, business and youth groups. Get their input.
- Encourage community leaders to focus on community support for families.
Follow the example of Rebecca Kimbel, Area Governor of Toastmasters’ International. She joined Safe Kids Now and became a community activist. She makes presentations throughout Northern California and writes articles for her local newspapers.
By Stephanie L. Mann
For more information: www.safekidsnow.com
City officials seem stumped on how to stop violence. In San Francisco, violence claimed 98 lives in 2008. Mayor Gavin Newsome said: “Nothing that I have tried to resolve has been more frustrating and vexing than solving the issue of why a 14-year-old would take the life of a 15-year-old with a weapon of war.”
The U.C. Berkeley School of Law researchers recently reported gangs terrorizing the same neighborhoods over and over again.
As a crime and violence prevention consultant, I know that gang leaders and drug dealers intimidate neighbors and instill fear against the police so they can control neighborhoods and continue, “business as usual.”
Police often focus on “hot spot” neighborhoods. However, after a sweep to eliminate criminals, neighbors need immediate follow up with “hands on” help to get organized. Without support, new criminals fill the void.
So how can the cycle of violence be broken?
BE A COMMUNITY ACTIVIST
Community activists can play an important role to end the social isolation that fuels crime, drug abuse and violence.
Activists can promote the simple act of neighbors working together which reduces fear and restores hope. Community activists can identify neighborhood leaders and enlist businesses, civic and church groups to support neighbors. They can assist neighbors in running meetings, planning an agenda and motivate neighbors to help strengthen family support.
When people feel connected and develop confidence, they stop the “no snitch” attitude and stop tolerating burglars, rapists, gangs, predators and drug dealers.
KEEP FAMILIES SAFE!
Ideas to keep neighborhood groups going and growing:
1. Neighbors need good communication to stay connected with regular meetings, phone trees, emails and, possibly, a newsletter.
2. Community leaders (neighbors, churches, civic groups) can help plan social gatherings, block parties, establish block parent programs, map neighborhoods for safety, create community gardens, plan youth safety day, implement emergency preparedness and help other neighbors form “Neighborhood Watch” groups.
3. Local officials can promote citizen involvement and reward neighbors for creating safer neighborhoods with trees, benches, swings, improved lighting, etc.
4. Neighborhood and civic groups can sponsor youth poster or essay contests.
5. Business groups or agencies can promote healthy competition between neighborhood groups. They might promote jump rope, basketball, skateboard, singing and dancing contests.
6. Local officials can honor and recognize neighborhood leaders!
Together neighbors provide a check and balance and reduce the social isolation that tolerates bullies, domestic violence and destructive youth behavior. When neighbors work together, they become role models, mentors, speak up and help solve problems.
Citizen involvement creates healthy, safe neighborhoods for families – and helps to reverse the cycle of violence.
~
WHAT YOU CAN DO
- Talk to your local representative and your police chief.
- Offer assistance to help your community.
- Make presentations to local civic, business and youth groups. Get their input.
- Encourage community leaders to focus on community support for families.
Follow the example of Rebecca Kimbel, Area Governor of Toastmasters’ International. She joined Safe Kids Now and became a community activist. She makes presentations throughout Northern California and writes articles for her local newspapers.
By Stephanie L. Mann
For more information: www.safekidsnow.com
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
ARIZONA TRAGEDY: A WAKE UP CALL!
Twenty-two year old Jared Loughner killed six and wounded 14 innocent people in Tucson. The public reaction; a “deranged monster.” Others blame political speeches. Loughner’s friends called him a “social outcast.” (Contra Costa Times 1-10-11)
This tragic event is a wake up call. We need to identify root causes and examine solutions for violent behavior. Human beings have the power to make choices for good or evil regardless of what has happened in the past.
Violent people were often victims. They never learned how to look within to find their own identity. They feel victimized and powerless. Lacking self-awareness, they can spiral out of control by dwelling on past traumas or injustices. Anger, if left unresolved, grows into rage and confused thinking. They blame others and may seek a cause to feel powerful. Their ego says, “I am right and others are wrong” as they shut down their conscience and play god. If no one intervenes, they look for a victim to relieve their pain and feel in control. I.e. a rapist attacks a vulnerable woman, a predator attacks a child, and an angry husband abuses and isolates his wife. This is spiritual ignorance at its worst.
Loughner was not born “deranged” but anger made him think and act in self-destructive ways. He became an outcast and felt justified in hurting others. Mass murderers are often “loner” with “no remorse.”
How can we prevent children from becoming a social outcast?
Consider these ideas:
1. Spiritual ignorance – Children growing up with mental, physical or sexual abuse at home learn, the biggest bully wins. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce that message. Without spiritual understanding of self, young people do not learn healthy life skills to help them handle feelings of love or hate. A spiritually off centered child can become a bully or the victim of a bully. If human (spiritual) beings dwell on anger, they can become self-destructive or may turn their anger on the community.
What you can do… Look within your family, set boundaries, listen, demonstrate respect for each other and speak without anger. Do not tolerate bully behavior at home or in your neighborhood. Children need strong, caring families to learn self-awareness and self-discipline.
2. Social alienation fuels violence – When young people feel isolated and lack a network of support from family, friends, neighbors or a religious family, they struggle to develop self-confidence and courage.
What you can do… Successful parents create a network of support around children and seek wisdom from family, friends, teachers and neighbors. A network of support builds trust. Encourage your network to correct unacceptable behavior. Children will develop respect for others and their property. A caring network offers encouragement, mentors and role models. Involved citizens demonstrate how to become contributing members of the community.
We can make our homes and neighborhoods safe places to live and help young people from “falling through the cracks” or becoming “social outcasts.” United, we have the power to create peace at home and in our communities.
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Safe Kids Now!
www.safekidsnow.com
This tragic event is a wake up call. We need to identify root causes and examine solutions for violent behavior. Human beings have the power to make choices for good or evil regardless of what has happened in the past.
Violent people were often victims. They never learned how to look within to find their own identity. They feel victimized and powerless. Lacking self-awareness, they can spiral out of control by dwelling on past traumas or injustices. Anger, if left unresolved, grows into rage and confused thinking. They blame others and may seek a cause to feel powerful. Their ego says, “I am right and others are wrong” as they shut down their conscience and play god. If no one intervenes, they look for a victim to relieve their pain and feel in control. I.e. a rapist attacks a vulnerable woman, a predator attacks a child, and an angry husband abuses and isolates his wife. This is spiritual ignorance at its worst.
Loughner was not born “deranged” but anger made him think and act in self-destructive ways. He became an outcast and felt justified in hurting others. Mass murderers are often “loner” with “no remorse.”
How can we prevent children from becoming a social outcast?
Consider these ideas:
1. Spiritual ignorance – Children growing up with mental, physical or sexual abuse at home learn, the biggest bully wins. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce that message. Without spiritual understanding of self, young people do not learn healthy life skills to help them handle feelings of love or hate. A spiritually off centered child can become a bully or the victim of a bully. If human (spiritual) beings dwell on anger, they can become self-destructive or may turn their anger on the community.
What you can do… Look within your family, set boundaries, listen, demonstrate respect for each other and speak without anger. Do not tolerate bully behavior at home or in your neighborhood. Children need strong, caring families to learn self-awareness and self-discipline.
2. Social alienation fuels violence – When young people feel isolated and lack a network of support from family, friends, neighbors or a religious family, they struggle to develop self-confidence and courage.
What you can do… Successful parents create a network of support around children and seek wisdom from family, friends, teachers and neighbors. A network of support builds trust. Encourage your network to correct unacceptable behavior. Children will develop respect for others and their property. A caring network offers encouragement, mentors and role models. Involved citizens demonstrate how to become contributing members of the community.
We can make our homes and neighborhoods safe places to live and help young people from “falling through the cracks” or becoming “social outcasts.” United, we have the power to create peace at home and in our communities.
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Safe Kids Now!
www.safekidsnow.com
Monday, December 27, 2010
Guns are not the issue!
We can’t stop violence, if we continue to assume guns are the problem. Columnist Tammerlin Drummond’s article, “Abundance of guns is root issue” (Contra Costa Times, 12-26-10), does NOT address the root cause for violent behavior.
Many adults feel threatened and buy guns for family and home protection. Disconnected angry teens buy guns to feel powerful. The proliferation of guns is a symptom of bigger issues.
Root causes for destructive behavior.
1. Spiritual ignorance – Many children are growing up with mental, physical or sexual abuse at home (1 in 4 women in abusive relationships). Children learn the biggest bully wins! Without any spiritual understanding of self and lacking self-confidence, teens can be sucked into gangs for a sense of belonging and support.
2. Social isolation fuels violence – When young people lack a network of support from family, neighbors or a religious family, children do not learn self-discipline or how to handle their anger. When responsible adults create a network of support around children, families will welcome guidance and correction from friends, teachers and neighbors. As neighbors connect with each other, they build trust, stop tolerating bad behavior and often become mentors for children on the block. Children need a sense of community to develop respect for others and their property. Caring neighbors and community support teaches children how to become contributing members of the community.
A goal for the future… There are 463 churches in Oakland CA. (4th most dangerous city in US) If churches would adopted just one block and help neighbors connect with each other, city life would gradually become healthy, happy places for children to grow strong and resilient. Neighbors would not feel the need to buy guns for protection.
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Safe Kids Now!
Many adults feel threatened and buy guns for family and home protection. Disconnected angry teens buy guns to feel powerful. The proliferation of guns is a symptom of bigger issues.
Root causes for destructive behavior.
1. Spiritual ignorance – Many children are growing up with mental, physical or sexual abuse at home (1 in 4 women in abusive relationships). Children learn the biggest bully wins! Without any spiritual understanding of self and lacking self-confidence, teens can be sucked into gangs for a sense of belonging and support.
2. Social isolation fuels violence – When young people lack a network of support from family, neighbors or a religious family, children do not learn self-discipline or how to handle their anger. When responsible adults create a network of support around children, families will welcome guidance and correction from friends, teachers and neighbors. As neighbors connect with each other, they build trust, stop tolerating bad behavior and often become mentors for children on the block. Children need a sense of community to develop respect for others and their property. Caring neighbors and community support teaches children how to become contributing members of the community.
A goal for the future… There are 463 churches in Oakland CA. (4th most dangerous city in US) If churches would adopted just one block and help neighbors connect with each other, city life would gradually become healthy, happy places for children to grow strong and resilient. Neighbors would not feel the need to buy guns for protection.
Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Safe Kids Now!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
FAQ's - From Stephanie, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
14. Violence is spreading throughout the world with religious leaders blaming and attacking free societies. What can be done?
Our freedoms are in jeopardy because our religious tolerance is being used against us. “Freedom of Religion” has never been an excuse to abuse women, control others or silence individuals.
What can we do?
America must become the role model by growing strong from within and working together. There is a huge difference between people controlled by religious leaders or government and a democratic society with people who are connected to each other to make their community safe. Know and respect your neighbor is critical in a free society. Americans must stop tolerating local crime and violence if we are to remain a free society.
A united community can keep gangs; hate groups, drug dealers, predators and potential terrorists in check, as they serve the needs of their children.
Remember: Every juvenile delinquent, bully, abused victim, drug dealer, gang member, potential terrorist, school drop-out and child struggling to grow up with domestic violence…lives in somebody’s neighborhood. Involved neighbors create safe, healthy neighborhoods for families to live and grow.
For more information go to: www.safekidsnow.com
Read all questions and answers on the website.
Our freedoms are in jeopardy because our religious tolerance is being used against us. “Freedom of Religion” has never been an excuse to abuse women, control others or silence individuals.
What can we do?
America must become the role model by growing strong from within and working together. There is a huge difference between people controlled by religious leaders or government and a democratic society with people who are connected to each other to make their community safe. Know and respect your neighbor is critical in a free society. Americans must stop tolerating local crime and violence if we are to remain a free society.
A united community can keep gangs; hate groups, drug dealers, predators and potential terrorists in check, as they serve the needs of their children.
Remember: Every juvenile delinquent, bully, abused victim, drug dealer, gang member, potential terrorist, school drop-out and child struggling to grow up with domestic violence…lives in somebody’s neighborhood. Involved neighbors create safe, healthy neighborhoods for families to live and grow.
For more information go to: www.safekidsnow.com
Read all questions and answers on the website.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
MICHAEL JACKSON: The Tragic Consequences of Child Abuse
Millions of people enjoyed Michael Jackson’s genius as a showman, however, his legacy is even greater if we learn from his life story.
During a TV interview, “Living with Michael Jackson,” Michael stated he was beaten by his father. He was so terrified he became physically ill when he saw him. When asked about his mother, he said he could hear her screaming, “Stop you’re going to kill him.”
Physical, mental and sexual child abuse is a family secret that must be exposed. All forms of abuse leave life long scars on victims. I experienced this tragedy within my own family.
To outsiders, my family looked the picture of success. My father was captain of the yacht club and we mingled with the rich and famous. As a small child, my older brother loved to play the piano. At age six, he was composing songs. But my father thought his talent was a curse and berated him, saying, “Only sissy boys play the piano!” He wanted his son to be a man’s man and excel in sports. As a result, my brother’s love of music was beaten out of him. Seeking to break free of controlling men, he ran away from several military schools. At age 19, he escaped by marrying a woman who was 38-years-old. During his life, he married six times and developed serious health problems as he ballooned to 350 pounds. He lived an unfulfilled life and died too soon. My father became an alcoholic and our family fell apart.
As an adult, I learned my father had been a victim of child abuse himself. He was repeating the cycle by abusing his sensitive, creative son. Then later in life, I became aware of the enormity of child abuse when I spent four years volunteering to help the homeless with the Mother Wright Foundation in Oakland, California. I heard horror stories about beatings, incest, molestation and neglect of children at the hands of the people who were supposed to love them. Without guidance and support, many of the homeless had never learned how to handle their emotions, connect with other people and grow strong from within. As victims of abuse, they often turned to drugs to escape their inability to cope with life.
One Saturday while serving lunch in the park, we needed another helper and James, a homeless man, stepped out of the line to volunteer. We got acquainted and during the next month, I learned his methadone drug treatment program was ending. James, who had been abused early in life, didn’t know what to change in order to stay out of prison and he asked for help. Since I didn’t know how to help him, I just listened to his story and offered the motherly advice I had given my own children.
During one of our meetings, James asked if his friends could join us. We talked to a pastor who agreed to let us meet at a nearby church. The meetings were challenging. At the first meeting, twenty men showed up. Some were high on drugs, two fell asleep on the floor and the men were angry and didn’t know how to listen to each other. We set down rules and the group dwindled to a core group of eight. Within three months, four men got jobs and two joined a drug rehab program.
This experience made it clear to me: child abuse is one of the major factors that lead to drug abuse, teen runaways, school dropouts, prostitution, violence and many other destructive behaviors. If the cycle is not broken, it continues with the next generation.
That is not just my opinion. A long-running study on the “Cycle of Violence” by the National Institute of Justice found that “being abused or neglected as a child increased the likelihood of arrest as a juvenile by 59 percent, and an adult by 28 percent, and for a violent crime, by 30 percent.” And that is just one report among many over the years which shows the connection between child abuse and crime – and which demonstrates how the cycle of abuse continues turning in destructive ways in the lives of adults who were mistreated and neglected early in their lives.
This cycle can be stopped and it must be. It is critical that parents and caring adults create circles of support around children to help them grow and learn how to connect with others.
The awesome talent of pop star, Michael Jackson, will be remembered. However, if you listen to his music his dream was to “heal the world” and “bring people together.” His legacy is a message to every parent, love your children and give them the emotional support they need to live a productive life without any fear of abuse.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
During a TV interview, “Living with Michael Jackson,” Michael stated he was beaten by his father. He was so terrified he became physically ill when he saw him. When asked about his mother, he said he could hear her screaming, “Stop you’re going to kill him.”
Physical, mental and sexual child abuse is a family secret that must be exposed. All forms of abuse leave life long scars on victims. I experienced this tragedy within my own family.
To outsiders, my family looked the picture of success. My father was captain of the yacht club and we mingled with the rich and famous. As a small child, my older brother loved to play the piano. At age six, he was composing songs. But my father thought his talent was a curse and berated him, saying, “Only sissy boys play the piano!” He wanted his son to be a man’s man and excel in sports. As a result, my brother’s love of music was beaten out of him. Seeking to break free of controlling men, he ran away from several military schools. At age 19, he escaped by marrying a woman who was 38-years-old. During his life, he married six times and developed serious health problems as he ballooned to 350 pounds. He lived an unfulfilled life and died too soon. My father became an alcoholic and our family fell apart.
As an adult, I learned my father had been a victim of child abuse himself. He was repeating the cycle by abusing his sensitive, creative son. Then later in life, I became aware of the enormity of child abuse when I spent four years volunteering to help the homeless with the Mother Wright Foundation in Oakland, California. I heard horror stories about beatings, incest, molestation and neglect of children at the hands of the people who were supposed to love them. Without guidance and support, many of the homeless had never learned how to handle their emotions, connect with other people and grow strong from within. As victims of abuse, they often turned to drugs to escape their inability to cope with life.
One Saturday while serving lunch in the park, we needed another helper and James, a homeless man, stepped out of the line to volunteer. We got acquainted and during the next month, I learned his methadone drug treatment program was ending. James, who had been abused early in life, didn’t know what to change in order to stay out of prison and he asked for help. Since I didn’t know how to help him, I just listened to his story and offered the motherly advice I had given my own children.
During one of our meetings, James asked if his friends could join us. We talked to a pastor who agreed to let us meet at a nearby church. The meetings were challenging. At the first meeting, twenty men showed up. Some were high on drugs, two fell asleep on the floor and the men were angry and didn’t know how to listen to each other. We set down rules and the group dwindled to a core group of eight. Within three months, four men got jobs and two joined a drug rehab program.
This experience made it clear to me: child abuse is one of the major factors that lead to drug abuse, teen runaways, school dropouts, prostitution, violence and many other destructive behaviors. If the cycle is not broken, it continues with the next generation.
That is not just my opinion. A long-running study on the “Cycle of Violence” by the National Institute of Justice found that “being abused or neglected as a child increased the likelihood of arrest as a juvenile by 59 percent, and an adult by 28 percent, and for a violent crime, by 30 percent.” And that is just one report among many over the years which shows the connection between child abuse and crime – and which demonstrates how the cycle of abuse continues turning in destructive ways in the lives of adults who were mistreated and neglected early in their lives.
This cycle can be stopped and it must be. It is critical that parents and caring adults create circles of support around children to help them grow and learn how to connect with others.
The awesome talent of pop star, Michael Jackson, will be remembered. However, if you listen to his music his dream was to “heal the world” and “bring people together.” His legacy is a message to every parent, love your children and give them the emotional support they need to live a productive life without any fear of abuse.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
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