(Published by the Bay Area News Group – Contra Costa Times 8-12-12)
The murder of 26 at Sandy
Hook School in Newtown CT and 12 killed with 58 wounded at a theater in
Aurora, CO are national tragedies sparking debate on gun control. Based on my experience as a crime and
violence prevention consultant, over the past 35 years, I see a need to share
what I have learned about violence. (Remove my info and put in your info)
The seed for violent
behavior begins at home. Parents good or bad are teachers. Disconnected
families in conflict often fail to teach children how to develop healthy
relationships.
Mental, physical or
sexual abuse can make even the most intelligent child, anti-social. If
children’s needs are not met, they can be thrown off balance resulting in anger
and feeling powerless. These children can become targets for abuse at school,
becoming isolated and alone.
Peers and society also
influence impressionable youth. The breakdown in American culture has created a
“perfect storm” for violent behavior.
The breakdown of the family
Family conflict, divorce
and neglect can create confusion for children. They often suffer in silence or become bullies with little
compassion for others. If adults don’t listen, set boundaries and calmly
discipline children, they can become frustrated and angry.
Without guidance and
emotional support, children may fail to mature emotionally and often alienate
classmates.
Children who excel in
school can develop an inflated ego and feel smarter than others. Lacking
self-awareness, a small percentage of youth seek revenge to get back at society
for the pain they suffer.
Without a conscience,
emotionally unstable youth can become obsessed and play “god” in other people’s
lives, which can turn deadly.
The breakdown of neighborhoods
In many cities,
neighbors are strangers. They expect someone else to solve problems and don’t
see their role in keeping the neighborhood safe. This attitude creates social
isolation with no check or balance on youthful misbehavior that can develop at
an early age. Neighbors must become role models and demonstrate an interest in
neighborhood kids.
The breakdown within cities
Disconnected residents
allow fear to divide and conquer. Cities deteriorate as prostitutes, drug
dealers, gangs and the homeless take over the streets. Neighbors don’t report
criminal behavior and may even protect criminals. Crime goes unchecked which allows gangs to fill the void. Without
adult leadership, youth may turn to drugs, sex or other addictions to feel good
while everyone else feels powerless!
The breakdown of values in the media
Movies and television
promote sex and violence because it sells. The entertainment industry reinforces
human weaknesses. Children are desensitized as immature youth engage in sex and
violence without understanding the consequences as moral values disappear. We become what we promote as
disconnected youth feel angry, alone and nobody cares.
The breakdown within the religious community
There are thousands of
churches, temples and synagogues in America; however, they don’t work together
to inform the community about the power of the human spirit. During the past 50
years, the religious community lost their influence following numerous scandals
including pastors stealing from congregations and the abuse of children. Many
churches become political action groups as religious leaders did little to
bring the community together, spread the need for spiritual values or
demonstrate the power of, “Love thy Neighbor.”
What can we do to
stop the violence?
Community support
strengthens families and helps parents raise successful children. Here are two things you can do today:
- First, create a
network of support around children to help them learn how to develop healthy
relationships. Group participation
teaches children to respect others and develop self-control. Network with friends and neighbors, and
get children involved in a variety of activities.
- Second, find emotional
support for children at a house of worship of your choice. Help children
discover their spiritual center so they don’t become bullies or victims. Children can discover their identity
and become responsible and self-aware.
They will learn how to get along with peers and become better citizens.
Gun control is not the
solution to this complex problem!
Government cannot fill the void with more laws or increasing control
over American lives. Concerned citizens must work together to strengthen
families, organize to make neighborhoods safe for children and get involved to
make communities peaceful places to live.
Everyone will benefit as
children grow up healthy, happy and able to reach their potential.
Stephanie
L. Mann
Crime and Violence
Prevention Consultant
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