Spiritual Crisis - Domestic Violence - Part 4

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

1 in 3 women are victims of domestic violence.  The odds are...you know someone who is a victim of abuse!

Here are the 4 steps in the Cycle of Abuse. 

We can stop the cycle of abuse if... we recognize what is going on and how to help family members or friends? You can help save a child from being a future abuser or victim!

For more Safe Kids Now Podcasts,  click here.

To hear Rebecca Kimbel's story of survival on YouTube,   CLICK HERE

6 MYTHS - Keeping cities locked into crime!

Chicago had 10 people killed and 40 wounded in 4 days. This can change if we get beyond the myths!

For decades, politicians and community leaders have perpetuated myths as the cycle of drug abuse, gangs and violence continues from one generation to the next. Myths include:

Myth #1 - Police can keep us safe.
Police have a limited role. Additional police on the streets can increase response time, but their job is to react to crime. The national average is 2.4 police for every 1000 citizens. It is not realistic to assume the police can keep us safe.

Myth #2 – More money will stop crime.
In the past 40 years, billions have been spent on education, home security, and guards, swat teams, training, scanning equipment, shot spotter and surveillance cameras. Money doesn’t stop domestic violence or youth from being abused at home or bullied at school. It does not put a responsible father back in the home or increase time spent with children.

Myth #3 – Hitting and verbal abuse will not harm children.
An abused child struggles to be accepted. They can rebel, learn to be bullies or become victims. These children don’t trust their instincts and intuition or develop a healthy conscience, which can protect them. When children have love and a network of support, they grow strong and resilient.

Myth #4 - Laws control criminal behavior.
Politicians pass laws to keep the public safe. Laws have limitations. Most citizens obey laws. Criminals, gangs, pimps and drug dealers ignore laws.

Myth #5 - Racism keeps the community oppressed.
The blame game divides and distracts from real solutions. Blaming police or society perpetuates anger. Anger gives disconnected youth an excuse to be violent which is a self-destructive false sense of power.

Myth #6 - Poverty keeps people from progressing.
Politicians gain power by creating an illusion of compassion. For decades, billions of dollars has been spent on programs including the “War on Poverty” and “War on Drugs.” In our zeal to help, we destroyed self-confidence, self-determination and motivation.

Myths have some truth but they don’t change behavior. Connected citizens have the power to create positive change and restore community safety and confidence.

America at a crossroads
Will security in the U.S. require more laws and less freedom or will we focus on supporting neighborhoods and strengthen families?

The largest group of crime victims, children. They are “canaries in the mine.”

For more information, www.safekidsnow.com

WHY KIDS TAKE DRUGS!

George Will’s article (Times 4/5/12), “Should U.S. legalize drugs?” needs national discussion. Will states, “20 percent of all prisoners – 500,000 - are incarcerated for dealing drugs and alcohol causes half of criminal violence.” Interdiction and incarceration cost billions…some say, “Let’s just try legalization.”

Today, drugs impact children as young as ten, sniffing, puffing and drinking for a thrill or to feel good. Adults should ask…why are young people using drugs instead of learning how to live happy, healthy, productive lives?

WHAT HAPPENED?
Drugs have been around for centuries! As a mother, grandmother and crime prevention specialist for 35 years, I have seen American values, attitudes and parenting skills change which fueled the drug epidemic.

Families grew weaker. A growing number of “helicopter parents” don’t let children make mistakes, solve problems or suffer the consequences for bad behavior. Continually hovering, rescuing and controlling a child’s life, takes away their self-confidence, making him or her dependent. Children become targets for bullies.

Sensitive children suffer in silence as they struggle to fit in and be accepted. They don’t know how to handle rejection, failure, humiliation or bullying and focus on emotional pain, which leads to depression.

Without self-awareness, children become followers or may bully others because they are not on a path to discover their own identity. They feel powerless and escape in drugs, which masks the real problem. They have not been taught how to cope with the “slings and arrows” of life!

WHAT CAN ADULTS DO?
Children need two major factors to help them take responsibility for their future.
1. Learn to live by their inner spirit to grow strong and resilient.
2. Networks of support help youth develop healthy relationships.

The media bombards children with beautiful people, sex and violence. Parents can find emotional support in churches or synagogues, which provide mentors and role models. Connected children do not become socially isolated or turn to drugs.

Children need self-confidence to say NO to drugs, sex and abuse. Self-aware children learn to trust their conscience, intuition and instincts, which can protect them. A foundation of values leads to happy, healthy, productive youth.

Legalize drugs? Let’s focus on children growing from their spirit, not inflated egos of, “I am right,” “You are wrong.” When young people are on a path of self-discovery, they pursue their dreams and see no need to abuse drugs to feel good.


Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
www.safekidsnow.com
www.facebook.com/stephanie.mann

CITIZEN ACTIVISTS: The Key to Community Change!

America’s budget crisis and economic downturn has experts writing articles and wondering why crime has gone down. A former Los Angeles police chief gives credit to tracking, analyzing numbers and quick responses.

Richard Rosenfeld, a sociologist who studies crime trends states, "a remarkable decline." He suggests possible explanations include, extended benefits, food stamps and other government-driven economic stimulus "have cushioned and delayed for many people the big blows that come from a recession."

As a crime and violence prevention consultant for 36 years, I have seen citizen activists reduce crime but they are seldom acknowledged. When I got involved in 1969 to stop crime in my community, police were called “pigs” and citizen activists were called, “vigilantes” or “busy bodies.” Negative terms often slow down innovation. When citizen activists formed a volunteer countywide citizen’s crime prevention committee, the police chief’s association tried to block a state grant. Our request was granted only after a former police chief became a co-leader with our administrator. The chief was dropped after the 2nd year when the police saw citizens willing to work with them.

As one of six citizen activists, I was the West County Coordinator and we met weekly to share what we learned. Over the next six years, coordinators organized 27 volunteer crime prevention committees in cities throughout our county. Committees worked with police in each city to reduce burglaries. Citizens soon discovered neighbors were stopping vandalism and destructive juvenile behavior. Neighbors also learned how to work together to stop drug dealers, prostitutes and predators. As volunteers became more knowledgeable, they reported a porn ring; illegal gambling and discovered child sex trafficking.

As the group evolved, we saw the need for training. The committee developed workshops on how to develop partnerships, build teamwork, facilitate a meeting, make a presentation, sell prevention and work with the media. In addition to organizing and supporting local committees, we created a resource list of films, pamphlets and flyers to help volunteers make presentations on shoplifting, rape, drugs, juvenile delinquency and senior power. Staff and volunteers developed a county newsletter. Every year crime prevention volunteers grew, and the committee sponsored events and an annual dinner recognizing our numerous citizen activists. Our staff of eight made a huge impact on our county.

The solution to crime and violence has never been police, elected politicians or government. They set policy and have an important role, however, crimes occur when families and neighbors are disconnected and youth feel no one cares. We saw citizens changing attitudes, restoring hope as they reduced fear and social isolation which fuels crime and violence.

Today the media, police and city leaders see the need for volunteers. However, crime prevention training is limited for many reasons. Leaders may not trust volunteers, don’t understand their critical role or may feel threatened. Some volunteers do a better job than paid employees. When citizens get involved they might discover fraud, corruption and learn that citizens are being misinformed.

To continue the decline in crime, every community must tap into our greatest national resource, our citizens. Americans must be involved at the neighborhood level to stop juvenile bad behavior. INVOLVEMENT creates healthy environments for youth before they take drugs, get pregnant, drop out of school or join gangs. Every citizen should be encouraged to:
1. Meet neighbors in the ten closest homes or apartments.
2. Help neighbors connect and get acquainted.
3. Exchange contact information.
4. Know the children, the elderly and the cars in the neighborhood.
5. Encourage everyone to write down descriptions, license numbers and report suspicious activities.
6. Keep neighbors informed about any crime or problems.
7. Designate a rotating neighborhood leader, if people are afraid to report crimes.
8. Create a list of skills and equipment neighbors are willing to share.
9. Designate a “safe house” or a “block parent” for youth.
10. Have an annual neighborhood social or block party.

The public needs to know that their involvement contributes to the mental, physical and spiritual health of the community. The threat of floods, earthquakes, fires, tornadoes and terrorism is a wake up call for citizens to get connected. Involved citizens don’t tolerate crime and often become mentors for children! It takes a network of support to help raise compassionate, responsible, disciplined children.

To focus on prevention we must promote involvement and reward citizen activists for their accomplishments! County and city leaders should consider a citizen countywide committee. All city employees should be encouraged to set examples by organizing and participating in their neighborhoods. Adults need to take charge of neighborhood safety so children can grow up in healthy, peaceful cities.

Crime has decreased because citizen activists are creating change! Americans will create more positive change if citizens are encouraged, involved, educated and trained to be citizen activists in every community.

“As soon as public service ceases to be the chief business of citizens, and they would rather serve with their money than with their persons, the State is not far for its fall.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau
The Social Contract 1762

Mann is a safety consultant and the author of 4 national crime prevention books. Her first book, “Alternative to Fear: Guidelines for safer neighborhoods (1975)", helped launch the national “Neighborhood Watch” program. You can contact her at: http://www.safekidsnow.com.

10 Ways to Stop Gangs without Money!

America has slowly evolved from “In God we trust” to the “me generation” demanding rights without a sense of responsibility to neighbors or community. The loss of community involvement has contributed to the growth of criminal gangs. When families break down, children can become angry. They can find comfort and support through gangs, sex and drugs.

The FBI reports the peak age for burglary is 16 and violence, age 18. Without correction, children fill the void with a false sense of power. Without responsible adults, a teen can steal or assault another child without guilt.

Police, schools and community leaders are struggling to cope, but children need adults to speak up and support each other.

As a crime prevention coordinator, I was facilitating a meeting of neighbors. After discussing ways to stop burglars, a neighbor asked what to do about two boys, 7 and 9 who were bullying her children. Other neighbors added the boys stole from a garage, broke several flowerpots and smashed a mailbox. A man said he had told the mother, “Get your boys under control” and she slammed her door. The group decided they could not let two young boys disrupt their lives but they needed a positive approach. Two tactful neighbors agreed to talk to the mother and offer help. The mother not only listened by burst into tears and said her husband had left. Neighbors decided to help and several men became mentors and families included the boys in their activities. Today they are successful students, one in high school and the other in college.

There are 28,000 gangs in the US and nine youths die every day from violence. Neighborhood support is critical for struggling families. Isolation creates an environment for crime, vandalism and domestic violence as citizens seek refuge behind locked doors. Americans are paying a high price.

We are at a crossroads. Citizens can restore the social fabric of communities.
Ten ways YOU can help stop gangs and destructive behaviors:
1. Help children learn how to become centered by taking your family to church. Children become strong and resilient by learning how to handle their emotions. Self-esteem is a “do it yourself,” project of looking within and changing ourselves. A strong conscience protects us, provides guidance and self-control.

2. Create a network of love and support with a peaceful home life and connecting to positive family members, neighbors and a church family.

3. Teach children the buddy system and street smarts. Encourage them to listen to their self-protective instincts and trust their intuition to avoid danger.

4. Include children in your home safety program: how to secure your home, how to answer the door and phone, what to do when home alone or in an emergency.

5. Create a safe neighborhood by working with neighbors. Join a neighborhood group or start one.

6. Establish a block parent program and designate a safe house on the block.

7. Conduct a neighborhood safety survey: Do you have overgrown shrubs, adequate lighting, open drainage, speeding cars, abandoned houses, drug dealers or gangs? Work with neighbors to solve problems.

8. Report criminal activities or designate neighborhood leaders willing to report to police.

9. Encourage city leaders to appoint a volunteer committee to promote community involvement and youth safety projects. Increase communication with local support agencies. Invite responsible teens to participate in teen courts and neighborhood groups.

10. Ask existing groups (churches, civic groups) to help organize after-school activities, start neighborhood newsletters, sponsor block parties and help clean up neighborhoods. Groups can reach out and help citizens get connected so gangs will not attract youth.

Responsible adults, take charge! We can create safe communities when children see positive role models and learn acceptable behavior.

Americans can reduce fear and restore trust by creating neighborhood support. We will stop gangs when adults work together for safe, healthy communities for everyone, especially for our children.

Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant

For more information see, The Adopt-A-Block Guidebook, on www.safekidsnow.com

Neighborhood Test

1. Do you know all your neighbors? (10 families around you)
2. Do you talk to the youth in your neighborhood?
3. When you see youngsters misbehaving, do you speak up, and correct them or notify parents?
4. Do you accept complaints about your children?
5. Do you watch your neighbors’ home when they are away?
6. Do your neighbors watch your home when you are away?
7. If you hear or see something suspicious, do you contact neighbors or call the police?
8. Do you and your neighbors work together to solve neighborhood issues? (bullies, vandals, lighting, noise, etc)
9. Do you have a designated neighborhood leader?
10. Do you have your neighbors contact (phone, email) information.
11. Is your family actively involved in your community? (civic, youth, charity, religious groups)?
12. Do you know your elected officials and local police?
13. Do you know what to do in an emergency?
14. Do you know as much about your community as you know about national problems?

Rate yourself:
Are you part of the problem? Your neighborhood needs you and your ideas.
Set a goal for a YES on every question to help keep families and children safe.

For more information on what you can do. Check out:
www.safekidsnow.com or contact us at: safeneighborhoods@gmail.com

5 myths - Keeping inner cities locked into crime!

For decades, politicians and community leaders have perpetuated myths as the cycle of drug abuse, gangs and violence continued from one generation to another.

The 5 myths are:
1. Police can keep us safe.
2. Money will solve problems.
3. Laws control behavior.
4. Racism keeps the community down.
5. Poverty keeps people from progressing.

Myths have some truth but they don’t change community behavior.

Myth #1 Police can keep us safe.
Police have a limited role. An additional 100,000 police on the streets can increase response time, as their job is to react to crime. The national average is 2.5 police for every 1000 citizens. The police cannot keep us safe.

Myth #2 Money will solve problems.
In the past 40 years, billions have been spent on education, programs, home security, guards, swat teams, training, scanning equipment, shot spotter and surveillance cameras. Money doesn’t stop rival gangs, demand for drugs or violence on our streets. As an area receives funding, violators move to another neighborhood.

Myth #3 Laws control behavior.
A politician’s job is to keep the public safe. That is critical for national security but laws have limited power. Law-abiding citizens obey laws. Criminals, gangs, pimps and drug dealers pay no attention.

Myth #4 Racism keeps the community down.
The blame game divides and distracts from real solutions. Blaming police or blaming people just because they look different perpetuates anger. Anger gives disconnected youth an excuse to join rival gangs as gang leaders gain a false sense of power. Gangs, like warring tribes, turn youth into uneducated, uncivilized men.

Myth #5 Poverty keeps people from progressing.
Politicians gain power as they create an illusion of compassion. For decades, billions of dollars have been spent on programs including the “War on Poverty” and the “War on Drugs.” In our zeal to “help” poor people, we destroyed their self-confidence and motivation. We created dependency.

We are at a crossroads…will security require more surveillance and less freedom or will we focus on supporting neighborhoods and strengthening families?

Americans can no longer ignore our largest group of crime victims…children. They are “canaries in the mine.”

Our national goal must be to strengthen families. Freedom is an inner journey with support for families and disconnected neighbors.

We need a major shift in thinking to create peaceful cities. We need:
1. A spiritual awakening to raise children with a conscience.
2. Community participation to create strong communities.

Ever wonder how low-income citizens get off drugs when they don’t have money to pay for medication or counseling?

I worked with the homeless for 4 years and started a support group for men. They have incredible stories of pain and survival. However, they learned how to take charge of their lives. (Foundation for writing, "Street Safe Kids.")

When youth understand their potential, they make responsible choices. Children need support to discover their strong, resilient inner power and identity. Most inner city youth, do not join gangs, take drugs or become violent but they do need a supportive, involved neighborhood.

City leaders can support neighborhood involvement by providing stipends to train citizen community coaches. Youth will see neighbors participating in problem solving and neighborhood projects, as they become teachers and mentors.

Civic, church and community groups who know and trust each other should be encouraged to adopt one block to help build relationships with neighbors. As community support grows, cities will become safer for everyone.

Stephanie L. Mann, Crime and Violence Prevention Consultant
Author: “The Adopt-A-Block Guidebook: 10 steps to a safe and healthy neighborhood.”
“Street Safe Kids: 10 step guide to building self-esteem and staying centered.”
www.safekidsnow.com
safeneighborhoods@gmail.com

Are you working with youth?

What is your group doing to help children?