Every day in our communities good kids make bad choices. As a crime and violence prevention consultant, I have compiled a list of 20 reasons as to why this is so. I have found that these reasons generally fall under the two general categories of loss of family or loss of community.
LOSS OF FAMILY
1. 50% of marriages end in divorce - 1 in 4 women in abusive relationships - Children learn behavior from adults.
2. Adult bullies: Mental abuse with put downs, insults, belittling, cursing, screaming and controlling without listening or guiding.
3. Physical abuse: hitting, whipping, slapping, kicking or sexual abuse of a child.
4. Bio-parents have authority to discipline and guide children, stepparents, boy friends or girl friends do not.
5. Emotional women (crying, pleading, begging) lose their authority with teens, especially boys.
6. Adults, who don’t listen, send a message… ”I don’t care.” Children become frustrated, lack self-confidence and may become socially isolated.
7. Neglect and abuse creates anger. Anger prevents emotional growth and a lack of self-awareness, which puts youth at risk.
8. Parents who can’t say NO, will experience resentment, anger and disrespect. They are teaching their child to be self-absorbed!
9. The neglect of a child's spirit: If adults fail to teach children about their awesome inner power and potential, they may not value themselves or others.
10. Bullies are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: This child uses intimidation and fear to gain power and control over others...and to hide their pain.
11. Pincushion kids (victims) are emotionally “off-center” with a wounded spirit: Shy, sensitive children may feel inadequate, suffer in silence and become easy targets. Bullies and victims are often attracted to each other.
12. Bullies and “Pincushion" kids (sensitive) lack healthy role models. Strong “centered” adults create a network of support, listen and stay calm when disciplining and guiding children.
13. Children lacking spiritual values and support do not discover a healthy balance between ego and spirit. Peers can become their teachers as they experiment with drugs, alcohol, sex or other self-destructive behaviors.
14. Youth, unable to cope or “fit in,” can become disconnected from family, friends and feel alone. They are likely candidates to dropout of school, join gangs or become addicted to drugs. Some may even runaway and become homeless.
LOSS OF COMMUNITY
15. The loss of neighborhood support creates more social isolation for families. Youth do not see neighbors as role models, mentors or problem solvers working together to keep their neighborhood safe for everyone.
16. Gangs, drugs and violence become a life style for alienated youth. Gangs use fear to control neighborhoods as they become role models for children. Rival gangs kill for power. (Primitive ego-driven tribal behavior) Note: Terrorist use the same tactics to gain power and control over others.
17. Violent movies, video games and TV reinforce the bully/victim behavior for disconnected youth. Sex and violence used to degrade and control women.
18. Easy access to drugs (escape from reality) and guns (power tool for youth disconnected from community).
19. The religious community has lost influence with many of today’s families due to scandals, corruption and the sexual abuse of children.
20. Religion, the foundation of a free society, has neglected to reach out and “Love thy Neighbor.” Working together…the religious community has the power to bring neighbors together, become role models for youth and create peaceful communities.
Every bully, delinquent, truant, abuse victim, drug dealer, gang member, and child struggling to grow up with drugs and/or domestic violence lives in somebody’s neighborhood.
By Stephanie L. Mann, Family and Neighborhoods Safety Consultant
Join “Safe Kids Now Mailing List" and learn what YOU can do to keep children safe. www.safekidsnow.com
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
10 Things more important than money$$
By Scott Hammond
Author: Become A Better Father
Too often in our capitalistic society, we place too much emphasis on financial achievement and too little on the importance of living a purpose driven life.
1. Family… your spouse, your parents, and her kids should come first. Just simply providing for them does not make your family, your number one priority. There is far more you can do for them with quality and quantity time. Love is spelled…. TIME.
2. Friends… the older some of us get, the less time we have for our friends. Some people get too busy climbing the success ladder and may not even make time for friends. Big mistake. So many things in our society are disposable, and sadly, friends too often fall into that category. Take time to invest in your friendships, both old and new. How hard is it to schedule a Starbucks coffee, pick up the phone, or write an e-mail?
3. Your health… stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, poor relationships with you and your family… all of these can adversely affect your health. Getting caught up in your career and working endless hours can also lead to neglect of one’s health. Workaholism can be deadly. The lack of discipline in making exercise, sleep, a good diet, and a healthy lifestyle can be dangerous if not deadly as well. You get one body, take care of it and treat it with the respect it deserves.
4. Kids… investing in your kids is absolutely one of the best investments you can make. Understanding how to relate to, love, care for, and communicate with your kids is vital to becoming a more fulfilled and complete person. Our future is our children. What kind of legacy are you leaving behind? Relationships that are fully orbed or just a fat portfolio?
5. Education… being a lifelong learner is a lifelong process. It’s not about being enrolled in the school or a fancy college or receiving a piece of paper. It is, however, about being someone who is hungry to learn, willing to change, and ready to embrace new ways of looking at life and the universe. As long as you have your mental capacities, you can keep learning and building on what you already know. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.
6. Having fun… people get so caught up in society’s money game that wealth becomes an addiction, an obsession, and the purpose for their existence. How many wealthy people aren’t healthy people who spend far too much time and energy chasing promotions, money, and possessions. We can end up with lots of toys and turn out to be pretty unhappy people… big mistake.
7. Solving social problems… how can you be a voice in society for those who do not have the ability to speak for themselves? Whether it’s poverty, divorce, suicide, teenage pregnancy, name your issue… you can have a voice and be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Your community is full of opportunities for you to volunteer, donate time or money, and get involved.
8. Your neighbors… give the neighbors a chance. Don’t write them off because they aren’t the same age, race, or occupation as you. What’s the sense of neglecting neighbors, since they can be sources of friendship, if given a chance? Part of our connection to the greater society is defined by our neighborhoods, which are full of neighbors— who could be friends we haven’t met yet.
9. Appreciating/valuing what you have… right now make a list of 10 things that you really appreciate. What is on your list? Despite our overall affluence, we still lament material things we lack rather than appreciating and valuing the material and nonmaterial things we do have. Don’t forget relationships.
10. Your reputation… a good name is to be had above riches. It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, but only moments to lose it. We chase after many things in life, and we often de-value and under-invest in relationships which should have our focus and priority. How many men have thrown it all away in a quick but twisted attempt at some forbidden fruit?
For More information about "Become A Better Father"
www.becomeabetterfather.com/press
Author: Become A Better Father
Too often in our capitalistic society, we place too much emphasis on financial achievement and too little on the importance of living a purpose driven life.
1. Family… your spouse, your parents, and her kids should come first. Just simply providing for them does not make your family, your number one priority. There is far more you can do for them with quality and quantity time. Love is spelled…. TIME.
2. Friends… the older some of us get, the less time we have for our friends. Some people get too busy climbing the success ladder and may not even make time for friends. Big mistake. So many things in our society are disposable, and sadly, friends too often fall into that category. Take time to invest in your friendships, both old and new. How hard is it to schedule a Starbucks coffee, pick up the phone, or write an e-mail?
3. Your health… stress, poor diet, lack of exercise, poor relationships with you and your family… all of these can adversely affect your health. Getting caught up in your career and working endless hours can also lead to neglect of one’s health. Workaholism can be deadly. The lack of discipline in making exercise, sleep, a good diet, and a healthy lifestyle can be dangerous if not deadly as well. You get one body, take care of it and treat it with the respect it deserves.
4. Kids… investing in your kids is absolutely one of the best investments you can make. Understanding how to relate to, love, care for, and communicate with your kids is vital to becoming a more fulfilled and complete person. Our future is our children. What kind of legacy are you leaving behind? Relationships that are fully orbed or just a fat portfolio?
5. Education… being a lifelong learner is a lifelong process. It’s not about being enrolled in the school or a fancy college or receiving a piece of paper. It is, however, about being someone who is hungry to learn, willing to change, and ready to embrace new ways of looking at life and the universe. As long as you have your mental capacities, you can keep learning and building on what you already know. Your mind is a terrible thing to waste.
6. Having fun… people get so caught up in society’s money game that wealth becomes an addiction, an obsession, and the purpose for their existence. How many wealthy people aren’t healthy people who spend far too much time and energy chasing promotions, money, and possessions. We can end up with lots of toys and turn out to be pretty unhappy people… big mistake.
7. Solving social problems… how can you be a voice in society for those who do not have the ability to speak for themselves? Whether it’s poverty, divorce, suicide, teenage pregnancy, name your issue… you can have a voice and be part of the solution rather than part of the problem. Your community is full of opportunities for you to volunteer, donate time or money, and get involved.
8. Your neighbors… give the neighbors a chance. Don’t write them off because they aren’t the same age, race, or occupation as you. What’s the sense of neglecting neighbors, since they can be sources of friendship, if given a chance? Part of our connection to the greater society is defined by our neighborhoods, which are full of neighbors— who could be friends we haven’t met yet.
9. Appreciating/valuing what you have… right now make a list of 10 things that you really appreciate. What is on your list? Despite our overall affluence, we still lament material things we lack rather than appreciating and valuing the material and nonmaterial things we do have. Don’t forget relationships.
10. Your reputation… a good name is to be had above riches. It takes a lifetime to build a reputation, but only moments to lose it. We chase after many things in life, and we often de-value and under-invest in relationships which should have our focus and priority. How many men have thrown it all away in a quick but twisted attempt at some forbidden fruit?
For More information about "Become A Better Father"
www.becomeabetterfather.com/press
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Kids in Crisis: Share your ideas!
The California Youth Crisis Line receives around 21,000 calls annually. Youth are calling about homelessness, depression, teen pregnancy, substance abuse, suicide and more. Budget cuts are limiting crisis line services.
Share your thoughts! What can citizens do to help youth get connected?
Share your thoughts! What can citizens do to help youth get connected?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Walkable Neighborhoods Fight Obesity - And Crime
Childhood obesity has reached epidemic proportions and health care costs to address this issue have now reached $14 billion a year.
But ordinary citizens have discovered an unexpected solution to this national problem: walkable neighborhoods.
Click on link to read my article. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Walkable_Neighborhoods_Fight_Obesity_-_And_Crime.html
But ordinary citizens have discovered an unexpected solution to this national problem: walkable neighborhoods.
Click on link to read my article. http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Walkable_Neighborhoods_Fight_Obesity_-_And_Crime.html
Monday, July 19, 2010
Let's work together to wake up Americans!
TIME TO WAKE UP THE SLEEPING GIANT! Money, police and laws can not stop crime, drugs and violence in our cities. These are "crisis of the spirit" problems.
Children are the largest group of victims and they are paying the highest price for "spiritual ignorance." Bring your energy (wisdom) and join us to help wake up Americans. Click: SAFE KIDS NOW! for more info.
Children are the largest group of victims and they are paying the highest price for "spiritual ignorance." Bring your energy (wisdom) and join us to help wake up Americans. Click: SAFE KIDS NOW! for more info.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Sowing and Growing A Personal Garden
Sowing and Growing Personal Garden's of Pea's, Squash, Lettuce, Turnip's and Thyme
Life is like a garden that we can plant at any time of the year or in any circumstance. The Bible says in Isaiah 58:11. "The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will become like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Now, put on your overall's and get into your gardener mentality.
Remember, our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
After the pea's comes squash…squash gossip, squash indifference, squash grumbling and squash selfishness. Concerning gossip, remember that silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted. Indifference is checking out. Passion is checking in. Don't let indifference squash your passion. Grumbling is verbal leaking to the outside things that are on our inside. Grumbling creates a verbal pollution bigger than that spewing well of the coast of Louisiana. Squash it, put a cap on it, and it stops polluting. Finally, squash selfishness. Maturity is discovering that the world doesn't revolve around us.
Next are four rows of lettuce…let us be faithful, let us be kind, let us be patient, and let us really love one another. Making commitments generates hope but keeping commitments generates trust. Trust is like a rope that connects one person to another. Then let us plant kindness. Baz Luhrman says: "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours." Patience is an incredible thing to plant. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
Don't forget to plant love right where you live with your neighbors, friends, family, and community. Those in need…need a friend in deed. American politician Andrew Holmes said: "There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up." Thomas Dreier said, "You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work."
Now, let's plant three rows of turnips. Turn up for church meetings, turn up for service, and turn up to help one another. Someone wrote a story called, My Drug Problem. "I had a drug problem when I was young. I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather. I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers. Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say and think. These drugs are stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin and if today's children had this kind of drug problem the world would be a better place." Sometimes you have to turn up whether you feel like it or not.
Finally, let's plant four rows of thyme: time for each other, time for family, time for neighbors and friends and time for prayer. Don't let bad experiences stop you from planting time. No matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt us every once and a while and we must forgive them for that for both our sake and theirs. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry. The most important things in your house are the people. Don't forget prayer. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
Now, that's what I call a garden. Don't just go for it, sow for it, but we may have to grow for it.
Ed Delph
NATIONStrategy
www.NATIONStrategy.com
"People Who Empower People To Transform Communities'
Life is like a garden that we can plant at any time of the year or in any circumstance. The Bible says in Isaiah 58:11. "The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will become like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Now, put on your overall's and get into your gardener mentality.
Remember, our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
After the pea's comes squash…squash gossip, squash indifference, squash grumbling and squash selfishness. Concerning gossip, remember that silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted. Indifference is checking out. Passion is checking in. Don't let indifference squash your passion. Grumbling is verbal leaking to the outside things that are on our inside. Grumbling creates a verbal pollution bigger than that spewing well of the coast of Louisiana. Squash it, put a cap on it, and it stops polluting. Finally, squash selfishness. Maturity is discovering that the world doesn't revolve around us.
Next are four rows of lettuce…let us be faithful, let us be kind, let us be patient, and let us really love one another. Making commitments generates hope but keeping commitments generates trust. Trust is like a rope that connects one person to another. Then let us plant kindness. Baz Luhrman says: "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours." Patience is an incredible thing to plant. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
Don't forget to plant love right where you live with your neighbors, friends, family, and community. Those in need…need a friend in deed. American politician Andrew Holmes said: "There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up." Thomas Dreier said, "You cannot add to the peace and good will of the world if you fail to create an atmosphere of harmony and love right where you live and work."
Now, let's plant three rows of turnips. Turn up for church meetings, turn up for service, and turn up to help one another. Someone wrote a story called, My Drug Problem. "I had a drug problem when I was young. I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions no matter the weather. I was drug to the bus stop to go to school every weekday. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers. Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say and think. These drugs are stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin and if today's children had this kind of drug problem the world would be a better place." Sometimes you have to turn up whether you feel like it or not.
Finally, let's plant four rows of thyme: time for each other, time for family, time for neighbors and friends and time for prayer. Don't let bad experiences stop you from planting time. No matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt us every once and a while and we must forgive them for that for both our sake and theirs. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry. The most important things in your house are the people. Don't forget prayer. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
Now, that's what I call a garden. Don't just go for it, sow for it, but we may have to grow for it.
Ed Delph
NATIONStrategy
www.NATIONStrategy.com
"People Who Empower People To Transform Communities'
Sunday, July 11, 2010
10 good reasons to know your neighbors!
EMPOWER FAMILIES to keep kids safe - 4 ways to JOIN SAFE KIDS NOW! - See website for more info!
- Strengthen and support families
- Create a strong sense of community
- Restore hope & build trust
- Reduce fear & isolation to help neighbors stop tolerating bullies, crime, drug abuse, gangs and violence
- Create a safe environment for children to play
- Restore positive values as neighbors become mentors and role models
- Stop destructive youthful behavior before young boys or girls get out-of-control
- Encourage projects (emergency preparedness, block party, safety fair, etc)
- Solve neighborhood problems (lighting, speeding cars, abandoned houses, vandalism, graffiti, etc.)
- Learn about police & citizen responsibilities
- Strengthen and support families
- Create a strong sense of community
- Restore hope & build trust
- Reduce fear & isolation to help neighbors stop tolerating bullies, crime, drug abuse, gangs and violence
- Create a safe environment for children to play
- Restore positive values as neighbors become mentors and role models
- Stop destructive youthful behavior before young boys or girls get out-of-control
- Encourage projects (emergency preparedness, block party, safety fair, etc)
- Solve neighborhood problems (lighting, speeding cars, abandoned houses, vandalism, graffiti, etc.)
- Learn about police & citizen responsibilities
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